IS IT SWEET OR IS IT SOUR??

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 41; the forty-first edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "SWEET AND SOUR"

One and a half month had passed by and we did not go anywhere during our summer vacation- I said with disappointment visible on my face and as 1 week was still left for our school to re-open why don’t we go to nani’s place in dhanbad? It’s decided we will be going to you grandparents place in Lucknow.  It was my father’s idea to which everyone agreed except me.  Why don’t we go to Nani’s place? I asked him once as we all sat for dinner, it had been a long time that we had seen her and due to her old age her health had started to worsen. Don’t you think daddy we should be going to Dhanbad instead of Lucknow??

“Kaashvi we all will go to dhanbad some other time and more over I just met her a few days back you could have come with me if you wanted to meet her”

“But mom you knew I had my exams going on that time and I could not miss them at any cost.”

“Kashvi we will go to dhanbad during your Diwali holidays now finish your dinner fast and go to your room and pack your bags” my mom said dis agreeing with my views.

“Yay I am going to have a lot of fun I love to be there” my brother said with excitement visible on his face
“Yeah go on enjoy” I murmured.

He had every reason to enjoy. The grandparents loved him in a grand way by showering him with gifts, sweets, t-shirts or any other toy and I would always be the one faking my happiness, smiling and standing alone in one corner when he would be surrounded by my uncles.  I guess my other sisters felt the same thing which I felt during such evening sessions but we never really had any option and they never really shared what they felt.

My mom knew why I want to go to dhanbad, she knew I would be treated equal there.  She too didn’t enjoyed going to Lucknow. I had even heard my grandmother saying cuss words to my mother but I really never under stood as to why my mom stayed quiet.

Not wanting to disturb myself by these thoughts; I quietly went to my room packed my bags and slept.
It was around 2 in the morning when my mother shook me up. She asked me to get ready so that we could leave on time. I rubbed my eyes, stretched myself and I was still yawning, I picked up my cell phone from the side table and I realized I had slept for just three hours. My head was paining badly, my eyes refused to open, legs refused to walk. I mustered up the strength and dragged myself towards wash room, took a quick shower and left towards the car.

As I stepped out from my home, It was a different view altogether. The sky was roaring loudly and lightening could also be seen. The sky had different shades of blue, black, purple and grey. It was quite evident that moon had surrendered to the fierceness of nature. The scene had changed my mind. The mood in me was set, the sleep was gone and my body was moving faster than before. I didn’t know what would happen after I reach, but I felt it was going to be an adventure.

As the car drove off the, the music was on and my hand was out from the semi opened window. I wanted to feel the rain, breath the fresh air and smell the wet soil. After some time, the rain started to fell heavily and the road was still empty, I rolled down the window and stretched the top half of my body out from the space provided for window. My family did not stop me. They knew how much I loved rain.
As we proceeded towards the out skirts of the city, the rain had gradually stopped. The roads were dry, the trucks were travelling on the road at a very high speed and a faint sunlight could be seen. My thoughts went on a different track.

Few years ago:-

“Kiran where are you? I told you to cook chapatti for my son. Can’t you see that he is hungry?”

“Ashok do you know what she does all day long”

“No ma you tell me and I am not yet hungry”

“Kiran are you coming or not?” I heard my grandmother shouting on my mother

“She does nothing but keeps on playing with her. I don’t know what kind of a daughter in law she is. Wish she had learnt something from her mother”

“Ma she is our daughter and it’s her duty to take care of her needs”

(My mom was crying as my grand mother was shouting at the top of the voice.)

“It’s enough mother, Look at you; you were not like this before what happened to you?”

“Nothing is wrong with me. Your wife is wrong. She gave birth to a girl”

“What is wrong having girl as a baby? Are you not a girl? Isin’t my wife a girl”

“Oh so now you are under her spell. That witch; see she does not even care for you”

My grandmother came in our room, she took me on the in her arms and threw me on the floor. My head was bleeding, my arms were bleeding. She did not even give me a second look. She held my mother from her hairs and dragged her outside slapping her hard on her cheeks. Tears rolled down from my mother’s eyes but she did not spoke a single word instead she kept her eyes on me. But her view got blocked as my father took me up in my arms and ran to save my mother from her.

He did save us that day. He performed his duty. We never visited back in that house ever again except a few times when my elder cousin brother got married. I did not talk with her. My mother did, though un- willingly as she had to respect her mother in law. My grandmother moved on so did my mother, but I didn’t. The marks are still on my body i.e. the marks of hate; marks of being unwanted, unheard and unlooked for.

After a few years of this incident, my brother was born and her attitude totally changed. She was as sweet as sugar. He was pampered with chocolates, games, toys, clothes and every other thing a child would ever want in his child hood days. My parents did that with me too but if our grandparents pamper us, it makes us feel special. Guess I was not special. I guess my mother was not special too.  But I make my parents feel special and vice- versa.

As the tyres roll towards my hometown the feeling of hate is back in me. The wish of hate, the feeling of ignoring her is back in me. I wish that these days pass away with the blink of an eye. But as I said this trip will be an adventure, I have a hope, I have a faith that this time something will change.

It’s a sour and a sweet relation we share i.e. sweet on my brother side for my grandmother and sour on my side for my grandmother .Let’s see till when will this sour feeling will continue and the big question –will it ever end?

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